It’s finally Wednesday! This week is just dragging for whatever reason. I’ve been applying to jobs like crazy so that’s more than likely why. Several months ago, I was hired for a temporary position in Washington, DC. That position’s contract is going to expire in a few months and I need to find a new, permanent job (preferably near a Starbucks). I’ve been thinking to myself how ridiculous the application process is nowadays. My parents were telling me how differently things were done “way back when”. Frankly, it sounded a lot less complicated. Since we’re on the subject, I’m going to share with you the most annoying things about job hunting. I guarantee you’ll at least laugh or be able to sympathize with me.
Lack of salary information– It’s like “here’s a job that sounds pretty decent but we aren’t going to tell you how much it pays.” I get it, employers don’t want to advertise a specific number when the best applicant they find isn’t worth that much, but at least give me an idea of what the minimum salary is so I can decide whether I should waste my time with the lengthy application process you inevitably have. This brings me to the next annoying thing. The lengthy application process– There are only a few applications I’ve filled out that I thought were efficient and made sense. Most of the other processes are long, ask repetitive questions, and are clearly designed for a computer to pick through looking for keywords. If your resume (which you inevitably have to reenter into their “employment history” section) doesn’t include these keywords, then it will be tossed into cyber space’s garbage can. Filling out a profile– For many of the bigger companies, before you can even apply for a position you have to create a profile. This means you come up with a username, password, and give a few other details about yourself. That’s all fine and dandy until you have to do it a million times. Empty promises– “If you’re qualifications meet what we’re looking for, we will be in touch. If not, we’ll keep your resume on file for 6 months in case another job opens up that better fits with your skill set.” Yeah, I’ve heard that before. The let down– You’ve applied, waited for someone to get back to you, gotten excited, and then you get this email: “Thank you for your interest in ___ position. The initial screening of applications has been completed. At this time we have decided to move forward with other candidates whose experience and background better match the requirements for the position.” Thanks for the computer generated response. I do appreciate it. Sarcasm intended. Cover letters– Who honestly reads these? You spend at least 30 minutes tailoring the cover letter to the company’s needs and then nothing comes of it. The end. Strength and weakness questions– Do you really think I’m going to tell you what my biggest weakness is? Since a computer is probably sifting through those answers too, I think it would be real funny to say that my biggest weakness is being on time for work. At least it would make me laugh. “Entry level” positions– Years ago when the economy was on the up and up, an entry level position was tailored to the recent college graduate who had maybe an internship or two on their resume. Now, underneath all of the other qualifications for an entry level position, you need, drum roll please, one to two years of experience! Because that makes perfect sense. Advertised entry level positions– Yes, I know this contradicts my complaints from my last point but in my application experience, anytime a position is advertised as being entry level it usually ends up being a scam. For example, I applied for a job being advertised as “entry level communications assistant”. I thought I had struck gold when I found this! Better yet, I even got an interview for it. A day later, I got on the phone with my interviewer and she told me more about the job. Apparently my job as a “communications assistant” would include going door-to-door “communicating” to people about the amazing coupons they can buy from me. No thanks, I think I’m good. The people that say they’ll “keep their eyes open“– People are busy and have busy lives, I understand that. It just puts a damper on my mood when I ask someone who I think will actually know something about finding a job in a certain locale and they don’t and then follow it up with “I’ll keep my eyes open.” You’re a human, an hour from now you’ll forget we had this conversation, but I know you mean well.
I know, I’m a negative Nancy and I’ve already been told by my mom that I’ll never get a job with that attitude. Frankly, this whole blog post was just comedic relief. Sometimes you just have to let the sarcasm flow and have yourself a good laugh about it. One day, hopefully in the near future, I’ll find a job I love to do and a company I want to work for. Right now, I’m just going to laugh about life and keep submitting applications.