Hey everyone! In an effort to be the most transparent life and style blogger I can be, I always like to share the good and the bad parts of my life with you. Everyone sees highlight reels for the most part and while those are nice, they aren’t realistic. As much as I enjoy Instagramming my shopping finds or the brunch I’ve had, it just doesn’t show the real me. So this post is real and raw because I’m talking about my recovery from depression!
When I say “recovery” what I mean is how I’m learning to cope and slowly navigate the waters that are depression. I refuse to fall into the rabbit hole that is depression, I’m pulling myself (and hopefully others) out! As many of you are probably aware, I quit my job last month because I was quite simply miserable. The constant fog of depression and trembling fits of stress weren’t worth any amount of money. Since quitting, I started a new job and have since been lifted out of that fog. However, the recovery is still going strong and here’s what I’ve learned.
Depression Never Fully Leaves You
It never does, at least in my case. Most of my days are full of sunshine, smiles, coffee, and lovely people. Unfortunately, when I least expect it, I feel this darkness creeping through my body and straight into my mind. It’s heavy and difficult to lift. Depression and all of it’s fun symptoms come out of know where! I can’t anticipate it and I can’t run from it, my mind and hormones just let it do it’s thing.
For example, I was in the car with David the other day just enjoying our Saturday afternoon and then very slowly I felt something in my mind shifting. My face turned downcast, I stopped talking, and grew increasingly tired. I knew what it was of course and it took me several hours to get past it.
That’s the biggest thing I’ve learned while recovering from depression, or maybe I should say coping with depression. It never fully leaves you. Some days I feel like I’m past this awful disease and then I’m reminded that its still there even if I can’t feel it.
Where to Go From Here
Whenever I have a little episode of depression, I ask myself where can I go from here? Is there something I can do to get out of the fog quicker? Is there something that triggers the sadness? Can I detect the next episode? I think identifying the factors that play into a bout of depression can make it easier to move on the next time one occurs.
If you suffer from depression or even anxiety, write down how you feel before, during, and after your episode of depression. Write down any details that might be important in what you’re experiencing. Take what you’ve written to a counselor who can help! Mine is amazing and makes me feel normal and more importantly, hopeful!